Blogging 101 – Assignment #4

January 8, 2015January 16, 20153 Comments

Today’s Assignment: publish a post for your dream reader, and include a new-to-you element in it.

This assignment I found difficult because of what I know to expect when dealing with an online community. Unfortunately I think my dream reader is just what the name implies, a dream. My dream reader turned out to be a carbon copy of me which could turn out to be a complete nightmare. I went for it anyway and here are the results.

My dream reader would be anyone who reads my blog and can agree, relate, understand some of the crazy, rude, irrational, and sometimes inappropriate thoughts that I share. This ‘dream reader’ would totally love and understand my need to one day rant about how much I hate people who can’t drive and the next day rave about my newest Sephora purchase.

I am an onion. There are so many layers that make me who I am and I want my ‘dream reader’ to appreciate that. The only thing they can expect when reading my blog everyday is the unexpected. Since I blog when I am happy, sad, angry, excited and every variation in between you never know what your going to get. This blog is all about what goes on in my head and my ‘dream reader’ wants to get inside my head and know me better than anyone without judgement.

I want my blog to be a place I can go and share how I really feel unedited and without restraint. My ‘dream reader’ needs to appreciate that regardless of whether they agree or not.

Blogging 101 – Assignment #3

January 7, 2015January 16, 2015Leave a comment

Today’s assignment: follow five new topics in the Reader and five new blogs.

For this assignment I attempted to put a good amount of thought into who I am, what I like, and how to define myself without putting myself into a category. I have always been a conundrum of a human being and refuse to allow myself to be defined as one thing or another. Once I even took a test to figure out which political party I associated with and I got place in the very center of the spectrum.

So far my blog has been about my life experiences, a bit negative at times, with the occasional what I am grateful for update. So I wanted to make sure with this assignment I let myself explore as many of the topics that interest me as possible. First I followed 5 new tags in the Reader, then I explored each tag I followed to find some blogs to read that I thought looked interesting. I focused on blogs that had a smaller follower base because I really want to be able to interact and share with the blogs I follow and follow me.

Here are the five new topics I followed in the reader: Beauty, Design, Life, Relationships, and Writing.

I have provided the blogs I found, followed and comment on below in case anyone was interested in checking them out:

Diary of A Marketing Misfit

Rebecca Blogs

ANNA vs DESIGN

writing & everything else

Choe Photography

Blogging 101 – Assignment #2

January 6, 2015January 16, 20151 Comment

Today’s assignment: edit your title and tagline.

When I gave my blog a title it was really about how I was feeling at the time. After being asked to change it I decided to reflect more on how it represents me.

There are many times in life where I have felt “lost”. What I find amusing is that out of all of those times I was never once physically lost. It’s become a bit of a joke with family as they like to joke how they could never get rid of me since I would always find my way back.

Sometimes the lost feeling can be compared to hopelessness. There are just days where I find my mind in places that I can’t find my way out of.

Blogging 101 – Assignment #1

January 6, 2015January 16, 20158 Comments

Today’s assignment: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post.

A couple months ago I made a major life change and it was causing a lot of anxiety so I needed someone to talk to even if no one was really listening so I started my blog “Lost Girl”.

For as long as I can remember I have been interested in writing down my thoughts, stories, hopes, fears, and frustrations but now I want to share all those things with anyone who may be interested in hearing about them.

There are just things that are easier to type out and throw into the universe than say out loud.

So mostly my blog will be about my life and my experiences so that I can share my experiences with others and get feedback from others who could be experiencing similar things.

I have provided a photo of my dog Bella wearing a sombrero because I think it is cute.

New Years Resolution Curse

January 4, 20151 Comment

So I couldn’t even make it three days with my resolution to post three things I am grateful for everyday. I like to call this the New Years Resolution Curse because its common knowledge that typically when people make a New Years resolution that they can’t keep it. So today I will try and do six things I am grateful for to make up for missing yesterday. In my defense after working all day, I went to the gym, had dinner and went to bed.

If you are interested in participating tell me what you are grateful for in the comments.

January 2, 2015 – I am grateful for…

1. Having a place to live while I house hunt.

2. Online tutorials.

3. Google

January 3, 2015 – I am grateful for…

1. Sunny days.

2. Having a knowledgeable realtor.

3. Cabs

January 4, 2015 – I am grateful for…

1. H20

2. Chocolate

3. Spending time with family.

If your interested in being a Lost Girl or Lost Boy (or any other oxygen breathing organism) then come back tomorrow because I bet it’s a lot more fun being lost together. To make it easy just press the “Follow” button on the upper right hand side of this page and get email updates every time I post.

New Year New Ideas

January 2, 2015January 16, 2015Leave a comment

I tend to only write blog posts when I am feeling down or angry mostly because I use writing as way to let go of things. I don’t want my blog to be completely negative so I am going to try and post three things I am grateful for everyday along with my typical ranting blog posts. Maybe I will even try out some other fun DIY’s or makeup related posts. Who knows! It’s my blog so it can go wherever I want it to.

January 1, 2015 – I am grateful for…

1. My two furry kids.

2. Having a job I enjoy.

3. Being able to pay my student loans.

RPC

January 2, 2015January 16, 2015Leave a comment

If there was ever a moment I did not think of you it is gone now. You are constantly running through my mind. In memories but mostly in fantasies since our time together was cut short. You are the hero of my fantasies, someone who understands me and knows just what to say. You made me feel safe. Everyone says its alright to be angry but I’m not angry. There is no word I know that can describe the mix of feelings I have. It reminds me of that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach as you slam on the car breaks right before impact. You know your about to hit but you can’t stop or avoid the collision and you have no idea if your going to make it.

I wonder if that is how you felt everyday. Like your life was a constant collision and you weren’t sure you could make it. I suppose that is the risk we all take everyday we decide to wake up. Life is just this constant car crash that you can’t predict the outcome of. You have to just keep getting in the car day after day hoping for the best. Some of us can’t deal with this constant uncertainty. We have too many questions, fears, and sadness inside us to keep getting in the car. And if you stop getting in the car, what is the point of waking up?

Is there no hope for me? We both seemed to have such a logical view of the world even with the darkness inside us. If you could not keep going how can I?

Broken

December 4, 2014January 16, 2015Leave a comment

This is a new feeling, though I have felt it before. It was a different time, a different place and with different people. The feeling is a little hard to describe so I will try to put it into a story that is about my life.

My family is not traditional. the last three generations of women have had their children outside of marriage and/or they divorced the father of their children. Do to this trend my family is made up of many other families, with families of their own. Most of my closest relatives are not related by blood.

Growing up I never felt that my family was different from any other. It never bothered me that I didn’t have a father, or that I lived with my grandparents (one of which was not my blood relative). It never seemed strange that my two favorite cousins weren’t “technically” related to me. Too put it in perspective out of nine cousins only one is related to me by blood and he was born when I was 11.

None of this felt odd, none of it mattered. I love them and they loved me. At least that is what I thought.

I never believed that blood was thicker than water or that because someone is your “family” you must always forgive and forget. I have seen too many people come and go. I’ve seen too many relationships shrivel and fade away.

I thought that my family knew something that other more traditional families didn’t. How to love unconditionally regardless of where someone came from. I was wrong.

At 25 years old I have felt the sting of my familial relationships shrivel and fade away. I’ve given my heart, shared my feelings with these people and watched them stare back in anger. Now I know what my “family” is really about. It is every man, woman, and child for themselves, for their own happiness regardless of the consequences.

Finally I have felt this sting, this indescribable pain from the last human being I ever though could make me feel this way. The feeling I am trying to describe is the feeling of being a stranger to the one person who knows you the best. The feeling of being a stranger to your own mother.

And so now I feel broken. For once in my entire life I do not know where to go from here.

Bitchy Resting Face

November 15, 2014January 16, 2015Leave a comment

Does anyone keep track of all the times your life has gone the opposite direction that you wanted it to? I like to. Maybe I don’t like to keep track but I do anyway. For some reason we have a tendency to focus on the negative rather than the positive. Even knowing that about ourselves there are those of us that still an’t change the way our minds are programmed.

I do not know why I can’t change the way my mind seems to go straight to the bad moments. The worst is that they seem to go straight to the bad moments during other particularly bad moments. Obviously this is something I would like to change about myself.

What makes this even worse are the people who judge the rest of us “Negative Nancy’s”. The worst is when someone without anxiety expects you to just turn off your anxiety. I am not sure about the rest of the world but my anxiety makes me grouchy a lot. I am constantly characterized as the “bitch” or the negative one in my group. Most of the time when I am saying negative things or being a downer it’s because I’m currently dealing with some form of anxiety caused by the current situation or some larger situation happening in my life.

I can’t just turn this off or “just relax”. This is a huge pet peeve of mine when someone tells me to “relax”. I would like to see them relax with their mind going 300 mph thinking about something that scares the crap out of them. Seriously.

And don’t even get me started on the people who are constantly asking me “what’s wrong?” First off if something was indeed wrong I would share it with you if I wanted to, you asking doesn’t mean I am obligated to tell you. Second I have bitchy resting face so most of the time nothing is wrong (also never trust anyone who smiles all the time) and again if something was wrong I would tell you if I felt it was any of your business. And finally when I tell you what is wrong don’t look at me like I’m complaining or being negative. You asked and I told you, if you didn’t want to be supportive or try to help then don’t ask in the first place.

So that is my rant for this evening. See you tomorrow.

How Did I Get Here?

November 14, 2014January 16, 2015Leave a comment

Have you ever found yourself stopping what you are doing and asking yourself how you got here? If the answer is no go ahead and stop reading and take a moment, close your eyes and ask yourself how did I get here? Go ahead, I can wait.

Done?

Ok now most likely what happened is you though about the physical path you took to get to your current location. Or maybe you thought about the path that brought you to this blog. Both of those are ok but what I hope happened, because this means I am not alone, is that you questioned the path in life that brought you to this moment. The decisions you made, accidents that happened (happy or otherwise) that brought you to this moment in your life.

I find myself doing this a lot and most of the time it happens by accident. I stop whatever I am doing and try to determine the path that brought me here. Obviously there is no real way to summarize 25 years of decisions, accidents, and small seemingly insignificant defining moments. So basically I am constantly wasting my own time. But for some reason I can’t stop thinking about it.

This also makes me obsessed with the passing of time. For many reasons time scares me. The biggest reason is the fear of when my time runs out. The unknown of having no more minutes left in your life. It’s true that while I don’t fear the act of dying, I fear what may or may not come after it. While I am not a religious person I like to tell myself there is something bigger than all that surrounds us while we are living. But like I said in my first post I never believe anything I tell myself. So I suffer through the constant anxiety because you can’t ignore time, it’s expressed in everything we do from our alarm clocks in the morning to making sure we catch our favorite television show at night.

On that note my computer clock is telling me I should go to bed because I have to work in the morning.

If you have ever asked the “How Did I Get Here?” question please feel free to leave a comment about your experience. And/or if you suffer with the same anxiety regarding “the end” (of time) please leave a comment about your experience and how you deal with it.

Until the next time I don’t feel like sleeping… – KL