Have you ever found yourself stopping what you are doing and asking yourself how you got here? If the answer is no go ahead and stop reading and take a moment, close your eyes and ask yourself how did I get here? Go ahead, I can wait.
Ok now most likely what happened is you though about the physical path you took to get to your current location. Or maybe you thought about the path that brought you to this blog. Both of those are ok but what I hope happened, because this means I am not alone, is that you questioned the path in life that brought you to this moment. The decisions you made, accidents that happened (happy or otherwise) that brought you to this moment in your life.
I find myself doing this a lot and most of the time it happens by accident. I stop whatever I am doing and try to determine the path that brought me here. Obviously there is no real way to summarize 25 years of decisions, accidents, and small seemingly insignificant defining moments. So basically I am constantly wasting my own time. But for some reason I can’t stop thinking about it.
This also makes me obsessed with the passing of time. For many reasons time scares me. The biggest reason is the fear of when my time runs out. The unknown of having no more minutes left in your life. It’s true that while I don’t fear the act of dying, I fear what may or may not come after it. While I am not a religious person I like to tell myself there is something bigger than all that surrounds us while we are living. But like I said in my first post I never believe anything I tell myself. So I suffer through the constant anxiety because you can’t ignore time, it’s expressed in everything we do from our alarm clocks in the morning to making sure we catch our favorite television show at night.
On that note my computer clock is telling me I should go to bed because I have to work in the morning.
If you have ever asked the “How Did I Get Here?” question please feel free to leave a comment about your experience. And/or if you suffer with the same anxiety regarding “the end” (of time) please leave a comment about your experience and how you deal with it.
Until the next time I don’t feel like sleeping… – KL
If your interested in being a Lost Girl or Lost Boy (or any other oxygen breathing organism) then come back tomorrow because I bet it’s a lot more fun being lost together. To make it easy just press the “Follow” button on the upper right hand side of this page and get email updates every time I post.