Cutting the Red Thread

Recently I was introduced to the “red string of fate” or “red string of marriage” which is an East Asian belief found in both Chinese and Japanese legend. The legend basically states that the gods tie an invisible red cord around the ankles of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way.

The two people connected by the red thread are destined to be lovers, regardless of place, time or circumstances. The red thread can be stretched and tangled but can never break.

the_red_string_of_fate_by_kasandraleigh-d545drg

The Red String of Fate by Kassandraleigh

This concept of the “red string of fate” or what us Westerners like to call “soulmates” is a concept I have given a lot of thought to. Having met what most would call my soulmate at 15 in high school I have spent many nights over the last ten years pondering our connection and the circumstances that led us to find each other.

If you asked me if I thought we were “meant to be”, I would say no. Being a very logical and practical person I think the idea of David being my soulmate is an insult to the time and energy we both have put into ensuring the growth and success of our relationship. I also think telling someone who is struggling to find their life mate that they just haven’t found “the one” yet is complete fantasy.

Yes, David and I were lucky enough to find each other at a time in our lives where we both were amenable to the idea of forever with each other or even with someone else. We happened to believe in the idea that dating in pursuit of marriage and family made more sense than dating around. We are always told that when we get older we will be able to make the big decisions about who to marry, where to live, or even what type of job we want. There are some of us who just know from the beginning. There is no magical string connecting us. Just a belief in our own futures and the strength to go forth and accomplish what we want.

My love for David has nothing to do with an invisible red thread and if I was proved wrong and could see it surrounding us, connecting us, I would cut it just to prove what we have is so much more than fate.

What do you think? Do you think there is someone out there at the end of your red thread waiting for you? Or is life and love what you make it?

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Life is Short…

So we have all heard the old adage “Life is Short” and while I live by this mantra every day I wonder if the way I interpret this age old saying is correct.

I have always lived the way I have wanted to. I do not typically do things I don’t feel like doing and if I want to purchase something I typically do, after paying my bills first. I live within the boundaries I set for myself and no one else’s. If someone is a jerk and doesn’t deserve my time well then they don’t get any of my time. No one is an exception to that rule, that includes family, blood or otherwise.

There are many of you out there that I am sure do not agree with my take on this. But let’s pretend for a moment that you do. Our time spent living on this earth is short. A hundred years when you are 10 seems like a long time but when you are 40? Now that seems like no time at all. So why spend it doing something you hate or spending time with people who do not appreciate you?

I am sure that each and every one of you has been in a situation with a ‘difficult’ family member. We make excuses for them time and again because well ‘they’re family’. This is all well and good, no need to disown someone over a broken family heirloom or a missed birthday, but what about those family members who really screw you over? The ones that steal from you, abuse you mentally or physically, destroy your future, and/or stand in the way of your happiness? What do you do with those people?

My knee jerk reaction is to get as far away as possible. Just because you’re my family doesn’t mean you can treat me badly and then say sorry and everything will be alright. It just doesn’t work that way. Not in my world. So here is what I fundamentally do not understand. Your family can screw you over, mother, father, sister, aunt, brother and then you forgive them because ‘they’re family’. Why? What does that mean? Family shouldn’t mean a free pass to destroying your loved ones lives and getting to go on like nothing happened.

Family is about love and support, and to a certain extent forgiveness. But there are times when forgiveness doesn’t include continuing along with the unhealthy relationship. So how do you tell a family member ‘it’s over’? And how do you know it’s the right time? That the last straw has finally broken the camels back?

That is currently what I am struggling with. Because after all “Life is Short” and you can’t replace your family.

An Uninspired Lost Girl

There are days, times where I have either been completely uninspired to write anything about anything and then there are days, times where I feel so lost in my own problems that I think writing and posting would be a complete mistake.

I’m afraid.

I do not want the blogging community to think I am negative, but I want to be real. I do not want them to only hear from me on my good days and think of me as someone who only has good days. I want to be able to share the good days, the bad days and the ugly days.

But I’m afraid.

I want to be able to share all of me. I want people to understand me and I want to understand them. I want to be able to share my ‘I’m sorry but I don’t feel like feeling that way today’ attitude without having to say I’m sorry. Because I’m not sorry.

I’m afraid.

I am just who I am on whichever day you find me. And Tuesday will be different than Wednesday which will be different than Saturday.

But I want to be brave. I will try to be brave because I know you are out there. You. The person who will find me in this vast blogging universe and read my blog and say “Yes. I am not alone.”

I will be brave for you. So come find me.

This post is in response to the Blogging 101: Be Inspired by the Neighbors daily task. I expanded on my comment on The Endeavors of Everyday Life blog post called “Having The Wobbles And Inspiring Blogs (While Feeling Utterly Uninspired)” which you can find here.